Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Chase in Shadow by Amy Lane

Title:  Chase in Shadow
AuthorAmy Lane
My Rating:

Genre: Contemporary Romance (m/m)
Series: Johnnies #1
Main Characters: Chase and Tommy
Release Date: February 2012
Publisher: Dreamspinner
Links to Purchase:
Sexual Intensity: hot

Story Overview:
Chase Summers: Golden boy. Beautiful girlfriend, good friends, and a promising future. 

Nobody knows the real Chase.

Chase Summers has a razor blade to his wrist and the smell of his lover’s goodbye clinging to his skin. He has a door in his heart so frightening he’d rather die than open it, and the lies he’s used to block it shut are thinning with every forbidden touch. Chase has spent his entire life unraveling, and his decision to set his sexuality free in secret has only torn his mind apart faster. 

Chase has one chance for true love and salvation. He may have met Tommy Halloran in the world of gay-for-pay—where the number of lovers doesn’t matter as long as the come-shot’s good—but if he wants the healing that Tommy’s love has to offer, he’ll need the courage to leave the shadows for the sunlight. That may be too much to ask from a man who’s spent his entire life hiding his true self. Chase knows all too well that the only things thriving in a heart’s darkness are the bitter personal demons that love to watch us bleed.

My Review:

This was a tough book. It starts with Chase putting a razor blade to his wrist and then you move back in time from there to see how he got to that point. I'll admit, it took me a bit to get into this book because of the way that it's written. It jumps around with lots of little snapshots...into the Johnnies videos, Chase's childhood, and the things leading up to Chase's suicide attempt. For a while at the beginning, it's a bit difficult to follow it all until you settle into the style of writing on the book. 

At it's heart, this book is about Chase...a soul so tormented that you just want to hold and heal him. He had a horrific childhood and it's colored every single part of his life, but he keeps it all inside. Most of those around him have no idea what has happened to him or the turmoil going on inside him. The only person he's EVER let is is Tommy, one of the guys he's met through Johnnies. Chase is hiding EVERY single little thing about himself. He's living and engaged to a great girl who he loves, has great friends who he grew up with, and a secret gay-for-pay life on the side. It's while making those videos that he feels free for the first time in his life.

Chase is messed up and as a reader, you slowly begin to unravel how he got to this place as you watch him slowly unravel. It's painful and riveting and so freaking heart-breaking to read. Knowing that there are people out there hurting like this breaks my heart. With his horrid childhood, it would be so easy for Chase to be a douchebag, but he's not. He is fully willing to sacrifice himself for Tommy...for Mercy. He is trying to make amends for something that he has no control over. 

This was an amazing book. It was incredibly emotional as you would expect just from the story description. As a reader, you see how Chase gets to this place, but you also see his recovery and how he gets to a much better place. The scenes in the hospital are amazing and I loved how Amy Lane kept his character true...even in the face of this awful devastation, there are moments of such fabulous humor. It kept it all from becoming too morbid. I love the guys attitudes about what they do and how the world views them vs. how they know it really is. 

Everything about this book was just good. Emotional. Funny. Simply GREAT reading. I'm definitely looking forward to reading the rest of the series. 

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